I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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