Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I want a musical about memes.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
