That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
