if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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