I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
