yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
