Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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