Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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