that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
