My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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