i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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