You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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