You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
