The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
