remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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