Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
