I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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