McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Come share oat with me in your robe
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