Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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