wat bout pragnant strippers??
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
