I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
