This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
