I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
