You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
