i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
