Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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