I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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