His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
