you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Come on in and take your pants off
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