No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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