i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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