Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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