Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
