Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
