True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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