I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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