I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
