I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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