I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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