so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize