Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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