I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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