**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
