dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
handjob tips. give me some.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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