Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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