me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
