I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
