dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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