The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
