ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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