Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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