I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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