I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
