Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Mom said you looked used
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
