fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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