Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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