I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
