the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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