Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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