Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and she was petting her beer can
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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