ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize