Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
high people should be assigned attendants
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
