No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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