cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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