i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
